Just Here

Going to India wasn’t something I sought out; it fell into my lap during Somatics, a class required for the BFA in Dance program. Somatics is an approach to dance performance that focuses on the experience of the performer. This mindful perspective on performing refocused my thoughts away from the expectations of an audience, and to my own mental and physical happenings. In each class, I became more aware of breath as an impetus for movement. An inhale of oxygen became my preparation for movement, and each exhale took each gesture through space. Over the semester, I noticed how my central core to the environment I danced in through my upper and lower limbs. Each arm and leg would stretch through the air. My core was the energized connector between them. I found a renewed awareness of my core, my center, my being in space. At the end of the course, Professor Roper approached the class about a need for research assistants for a project just before finals, and I knew that this would be my ticket to further understanding of somatics. I sent in my application that day. A few weeks later I accepted a research assistant position that would look at how somatic approaches to choreography facilitate cross-cultural dance exchange.

Three months later I boarded a plane to Dubai. It was the final connecting flight to Bengaluru, India,-- the site of our research. The day after arriving in Bengaluru, I stood with Poornima, my choreographer and collaborator on the project, about to start our rehearsal. “So, do you have any experience in Odissi dance, or even classical Indian dance?” “No,” I sheepishly smiled, “I’m just here.”

Over the next two weeks Poornima initiated me into the world of classical Indian dance and her focus on Odissi dance. This form of classical Indian dance originates from ancient Hindu temples. For our research we were to choreograph solo performances and discuss throughout the rehearsal process how our focus on our personal experiences while dancing impacted our connection to the choreography.

With her choreography reflective of her personal journey in choosing a career in dance over architecture, I found myself on a journey of struggle. Struggling to connect to new movement. I felt uncomfortable in my skin, trying to comprehend the intricate details of every stomp, jump and mudra. Poornima placed each finger and tilted her head as if it was breathing. I froze. Poised in her upper body, but grounded to the earth as if her feet were roots, Poornima danced. Tense in my shoulders, and stiff in my feet I failed to find my footing. According to Poornima, Odissi students do not begin learning choreography before two years of studying the style. For two years students attend rigorous classes. They perfect their technique. They study under their gurus, their expert teachers for at least two years. I had nine days.

On the sixth day of our project, Poornima focused on the end section of the piece. In this part, I described the Hindu goddess of courage as I sustained mudras and symbols associated with the goddess. Poornima could not decide between two poses to use when the vocalist for the piece’s music sings the word “courage.” Her focus than turned to me as she asked, “In which pose do you feel the most courageous?” My internal struggles with the solo gnawed at me, but I knew that to answer her question honestly, I had to let go of my thoughts and reflect on my experience in the dance. I chose a pose. As I took the wide and open pose, I felt stable, grounded, connected to a dance step I had never experienced before. I was ready to take on anything about to come my way. This connection to the dance studio floor shifted my focus away from my personal expectations of technical perfection. Instead, I looked inward to my own personal experience with what the choreography was trying to say. Applying principles from Somatics in this moment changed my approached for the rest of the project. As I went forward in the rehearsal I focused not merely on the steps, but the story I told.

One rehearsal, Poornima explained to me the significance the beginning section of the piece where I stomp repeatedly around the perimeter of the stage. Following the traditional structure of an Odissi piece, this part specifically brought her back to her time working as an architect. Before sketching, she would clear the space around her as she could not work in a cluttered area. Poornima explained to me that in this section of the piece as we prepared and cleared the area for dancing, walking the pathway that she envisioned in her mind, memories of her past profession came back to her. It was as if she was physically experiencing being an architect again. I joined her in circumscribing the floor with stomping steps, and I felt myself in her office, setting down a piece of paper on a newly cleared space, about to sketch. We had only met hours before, but we experienced this unity as we moved together. Discussing about the remembrance of her architect rituals, led her open up to me about a time in her life as she worked as an architect as well as an Odissi performer and her struggle in trying to serve two creatively taxing passions simultaneously. Her struggle set her on a journey to search for which profession she should choose as trying to give everything to two loves in her life was no longer possible. We danced together, talking about her life.

Dance is beautiful, because it makes individuals aware of the parallels apparent in the human experience. My personal experiences of transformation melted with Poornima's personal voice. We must recongize the complexities behind each individual story. Yet, it is one of the true, beautiful mysteries of life that despite complexity, unity is possible.

Rehearsing with Poornima Kartik